Navigating Family Dynamics in Caregiving: Shelly & Kevin's Story

Caring for a loved one is often an emotional and complex journey, filled with both rewarding moments and unexpected challenges. Meet Shelly and Kevin, a couple who’ve spent the last 20 years caring for Shelly’s mother, Barbara. Once active and independent, Barbara’s declining health has led to new hurdles, placing increasing demands on Shelly and Kevin. Their experience reflects the reality faced by many caregivers: balancing personal life with the ongoing responsibilities of caregiving.

The Caregiving Dilemma: When Family Dynamics Shift

As Barbara’s health continues to decline, Shelly is now considering taking over Power of Attorney to ensure her mother receives proper care and support. But this decision is not without its difficulties. Shelly and Kevin are facing resistance from Barbara’s distant siblings, who don’t fully understand or accept the gravity of Barbara’s situation. The family dynamic becomes an additional challenge on top of caregiving, forcing them to navigate emotionally charged conversations and make tough decisions for Barbara's well-being.

Questions to ask yourself as a caregiver: 

How do you leverage support systems and resources to navigate challenging family dynamics in caregiving? When assessing your own care dynamics, consider the following short questions to help you find focus and prioritize your needs.

• Have you ever felt overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Sometimes

A yes or sometimes response suggests you would benefit from supports and perhaps now is the right time to figure that out. A no response suggests you are currently feeling pretty organized or focused.  No matter what your response, keep up the good work - asking questions and finding momentum. 

• Do you have a support system in place to help you navigate caregiving challenges?

  • Yes

  • No

  • I'm not sure

A no or unsure response suggests that this is a gap in your care toolkit and perhaps now is the time to focus on finding support services. A yes response suggests you are currently covered and somewhat clear of who is available. No matter your response, check in with yourself regularly to stay up to date on who is available and how they can help. 

• Would you be interested in learning more about caregiver support services like Caregiver Brilliance?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Maybe

  We welcome your input and encourage you to reach out with your thoughts and needs relating to family caregiving.

Spotlight on products: 

Here are three products that would be helpful for caregivers like Shelly and Kevin:

1. Adjustable Bed Rail: rails offer additional support and help prevent falls, which could be useful for Barbara as her mobility decreases, offering flexibility based on her needs. Buy it here

2. Motion-Sensor Nightlights:  motion-sensor nightlights can prevent accidents by illuminating Barbara’s path if she wakes up during the night. These lights can be placed in hallways, staircases, and the bathroom, ensuring safety.
   Find more information here​

3. Overbed Table: useful those with limited mobility. The table is adjustable and has wheels, making it easy to move and position for comfort. This could enhance Barbara’s independence by providing a stable surface for daily tasks, allowing her to eat, read, or work while in bed. Buy it here 

Shelly and Kevin’s journey highlights the importance of working together and using tools that suit their specific needs. By coordinating their efforts and finding the right products for Barbara’s comfort, they are better able to manage the challenges they face together. With the right tools and resources, and by involving others in the process, caregivers can create a more manageable experience. 

Message from Kevin:
“Honestly, caring for Barbara has been tough at times, but we’ve learned to make it work by sticking together. We’ve found a few things that make our lives easier, like that bed rail—it’s been a huge help for keeping her safe. The beside table is another lifesaver, letting her eat or read comfortably. I’m just glad we’ve got these tools, because it makes caring for her more manageable.”

Message from Shelly:
“In the beginning, it felt like we were completely on our own, trying to juggle everything. But once we started looking into what’s available—like motion-sensor nightlights and even apps that let us coordinate with family—it took a lot of the pressure off. Now, I can focus more on just being there for Mom, and Kevin and I are on the same page, which is huge. Honestly, reaching out for help and finding these resources was a game-changer for us.”

If you found this edition of The Caregiver Times reassuring in any way, please consider sharing this free newsletter with those you care about to pass on more helpful tips, tools, and caregiving resources.